Handling a breakup doesn’t sound fun at first glance. However, there are subtle subliminal messages that can enhance your overall breakup experience with a little discipline, self-love, and appreciation of your sense of self. Whether you two split amicably or there were serious issues and arguments that anticipated the breakup, you can still learn to handle yourself with grace and class through the heartache. Therefore, look on below for the 7 healthy ways you can handle a breakup:
Separate yourself fully from your ex
Get in healthy mindset first and foremost. Distance is of the utmost essence. Once you’ve fully accepted that this relationship is done, you can begin to move on. Don’t leave any channels of communication open with your ex if you want to fully heal. It’s not a good idea to look at their pictures or Facebook updates, don’t call or text them, and don’t talk about them. You should not even be friends with them for now. It will confuse your own feelings. This kind of separation comes with bounds for a reason. It is done to get you alone so that you can truly understand your heart from a clear perspective. You might feel the need to go back to your ex temporarily out of fear of being alone, but stand strong. This way you are removing any ego-filled thoughts regarding this person with respect to rejection.
Let go of any anger you feel towards your ex
We have loads of anger and pent up frustration that we desire to dump all over our ex’s. We are hurt and we turn this hurt into resentment if we don’t heal ourselves. Therefore, we must let go of the anger we hold. Let them go as a possession to you or your mind. There is no rule that says they must be perpetually obligated to you and your feelings. So try to get over the revenge game and move on. You can certainly trash talk them but that only causes you to get pulled around in a cycle of self loathing behavior. You also don’t need to project their faults on your future partners. Whether there were lies, cheating, or deceit, let all that go too. It will help break down the walls you might be trying to build when they initially hurt you. Through this letting go process, you will be able to build yourself up again from scratch. Now you get to set the standards for how partners can treat you.
Understand your own emotional baggage
In any relationship, we generally give ourselves fully to our partner. That being said, this gives our partner the ability to hurt us even more. They learn about our insecurities and play against them during arguments. Since breakups can mess with people’s emotional state of self, try to understand your own emotions once they have cooled down a bit. As you may or may not be aware, we tend to carry around our specific emotional baggage from relationship to relationship. This basically inhibits our ability to have a healthy relationship with ourselves and others. So instead of putting up a front and seeming tough or superior after a breakup, learn to open up your wounds for a given time frame to really feel what you feel in an honest way for a chance to be fully cleansed from the heartache.
Make a list of everything you learned
Hurt feelings can be tied with the happiest moments you two have shared. This is your chance to let everything out in a positive manner. Acknowledge your breakup through all the relationship’s positive aspects. Jot down the reasons you stayed with this person for whatever period of time that you did. Focus on what this person has taught you about yourself in a positive light. Perhaps something was missing in you where your partner showed you those weak points and now you can work on them on your own pace. Here is where you have a moment of gratitude for your ex as they brought up additional healing and learning for your own growth and benefit.
Be with people that love you
Spend time with those who matter most. Create a spa day or just have a girl’s or guy’s night in with funny movies and homemade face masks. Laugh with each other. Share your honest feelings. Talk to a close family member or friend more specifically if you need additional emotional support. An outsider’s perspective can enhance the overall situation if they can provide you with extra resources you need to fully reach a final level of closure within your breakup.
Enjoy being independent
Get to know the real you. This is a fun and expressive process that is individualized to your uniquely specific desires. What do you want to do on your own, right now? You don’t need to lean on a partner to figure out your self-worth or sense of power. Get out and meet new people. Go to parties, social intellectual gatherings, and take up artistic classes such as dancing or painting. Start a workout regimen or train for a running or biking marathon. This is your time to get creative. Focus on you, your best qualities, and your uniqueness. Stand on your own two feet and feel stable.
Work on productivity to enhance confidence
Now that you have dealt with the deep and painful part of opening up, this is your time to avoid laziness and invest in yourself. Be productive in a clear and specific manner. Commit to something that evokes passion within you. Perhaps that is a home improvement project or charity work. Or maybe you want to take a meaningful vacation to learn about your ancestral cultures. Find a new hobby that is to your liking. Get a cool new haircut or add some highlights. Starting with productivity also consists of working out.
Exercise and get fit
Independent Nicknotas adds to, “Start exercising if you aren’t already. It releases endorphins that boost your mood and help to overcome depression. Plus, improving your health and looking your best always makes you feel more confident.” The end goal is confidence after all. Once you begin a task at hand to challenge yourself and set realistic and reachable goals, you will essentially be regaining some level of trust within you. In turn, this will reaffirm your faith in your own abilities and you will feel proud in your sense of self. Through this you can begin to learn the value and beauty of you as a whole. You have every right to rediscover who you are and reinvent yourself. This is the basic definition of self-love my friends and only you can give that to yourself.
Once you learn how to channel your anger towards your breakup in a healthy way, you will be able to get through your heartache and come out stronger, more confident, and filled with self-love.
And, before you decide to get back into a relationship, read this article first.